There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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