The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
