worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
