please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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