i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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