we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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