i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
