Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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