your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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