There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
