My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize