it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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