Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i think my cat just said my name.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
