if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
