New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
