ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Mom said you looked used
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
