PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
