you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I pour the whiskey from now on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
