You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Found the puke drawer
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
