I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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