i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
