Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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