i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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