So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
