she was so not down for the gang bang
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
