do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
