remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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