He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
