Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
