Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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