It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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