i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
