so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
