i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Rumble strips road head = magical
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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