On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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