I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
