I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize