I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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