Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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