no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
