you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
