ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
