Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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