What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everyone says I win the strip club
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
