I smell stomach acid.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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