i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
