I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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