Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize