do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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