Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
