oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
