ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
