I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
