i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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