No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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