Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
