her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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