Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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