How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
